Indoorsy

I suppose I’ve always known I am not a lover of the great outdoors. When I was growing up, my grandmother, who absolutely adored being surrounded by nature, would frequently suggest we pack a picnic and get out for some fresh air. Personally, I was thrilled at the idea of a basket full of snacks, packed and ready to go, except for the notion of eating it…outside. In the Georgia heat, surrounded by gnats, ants, and yellowjackets. How could we possibly be ladies who lunch, sitting on a splintered state park picnic bench with sweat covering our upper lips, batting pests with one hand and sipping Diet Rite with the other? It seemed uncivilized when we had a perfectly lovely, air-conditioned kitchen in which to dine.

A few years ago, Clint and I were fond of a television show called I Shouldn’t Be Alive, which told stories of ordinary people who found themselves in extraordinary survival situations. We would lounge on our couch, amazed, and watch episodes of shark attacks, wild animals, folks trapped under boulders, in caves, on the sides of mountains, battling for their lives. And each and every time, I could say with certainty: I would never find myself in that situation because I do none of those things. My lifestyle is not conducive to needing rescue, I dare say. It is a rare occasion that a Netflix binge or a Pinterest scrolling spree has ever resulted in someone fighting to stay alive. Fighting to stay awake, yes, but alive? Not so much.

Last week. we were discussing a group of friends who went to Yellowstone National Park. Good for them, I said. I have zero interest in Yellowstone (I love the TV show, but that’s a different subject). Stating the obvious, I scoffed that I do not camp and I do not hike. My (ahem) adoring husband laughed and turned the question to me, saying, “What do you like to do?”

I like to do plenty of things! I have hobbies! I just can’t exactly tell you right off the top of my head what they are. I like to read, but that makes me sound like a librarian, plus is reading a hobby or just a basic life skill? That feels like telling someone you enjoy breathing or walking upright without dragging your knuckles on the ground. I also relate to those refrigerator magnets that read: shopping is my cardio. Yes ma’am! I have been a semi-professional shopper since I was a mere babe in my stroller, under the tutelage of my mom, who is a shopper extraordinaire.

You could say I enjoy travel, so long as the travel is not too far away but also not too close to home because that’s not worth the effort, and some place not too hot nor too cold, not too crowded, safe, and friendly (you know, just the usual travel lover’s criteria). Next, I pointed out that I enjoy trying new restaurants. That can be considered a hobby of sorts. But then Clint countered that, most of the time, I do not like to try new restaurants because I hate anything overly trendy and I cannot stand having to make a reservation month and months in advance—seriously, how do I know where and when I want to eat three months ahead of time? It’s pompous. I also don’t like restaurants who refuse to accept reservations, eateries that are too loud, “fusion,” whatever that means (pick a lane), and tapas or small plate style dining. This big girl wants her very own big plate of real food to enjoy, all on her own. So perhaps “trying new restaurants” should be replaced with the more accurate “eating out so I don’t have to cook.” It doesn’t read as well, but I enjoy it, just the same.

In an effort to prove I am more well-rounded than I appear, I went to Google and searched for hobbies…and then I got realistic and narrowed my field specifically to “indoor hobbies” because who am I kidding? I do not even need to waste my time thinking about tennis, golf, cycling and the like. Hard pass. The list of options I found was endless and ranged from mundane (baking, making bread) to magic—no literally, learning to do magic tricks was a suggestion, as was candle making, basket weaving, yoga, and social media (I think we have all got that one down pat, bless our hearts). I did score myself points for blogging, go me! Hairstyling and movie watching were also listed, and I happen to be well-practiced at both of those, so my resume was really started to build. Somewhere around ping pong and weight lifting, I got bored and decided I have enough hobbies. There’s no need to do something drastic, like break out my old scrapbooking kits. Whew.

And just as I had dismissed myself as an indoorsy type, I saw something in one of my favorite stores a few days ago that begs to differ (proving once more that shopping is a handy hobby not that I needed to tell you).

I cannot argue with that logic. So, just like that, I suppose I do love the great outdoors. After a weekend of blustery cold weather, the temperature is creeping up into the 70s this week and the sun is shining in the Carolinas again. It’s enough to make this lover of nature start to think about porch parties and patio sipping. After all, next month is birthday month, so there is party planning to be done. And I dare say party planning is a hobby I can add to my list as well. Indoorsy, outdoorsy, and everywhere in between: all I’m really looking for is a good time.